Well yesterday was a new day and new experience for my DID. I have never felt like this before without the help of some pretty hard drugs. I had no clue what it was or what was happening at the moment which of course the unknowing just made things so much worse. We went out to eat and it started about halfway through the meal, The food plates, table, even the floor none of it felt real any longer. It was like if you seen these things on a television not as bright and clear as you see it in person. I just set there quiet because I didn’t want to freak out in the restaurant and in front of my boyfriend and his parents. We left the restaraunt and it just continued to get worse nothing around me felt real. I didn’t even feel real. I started thinking everything felt like I was in a dream that I knew I was dreaming and like I just had to keep waiting to wake up and when I did everything would be different because this dream isn’t real. The air seemed really thick like I could almost see it. I could see waves through the air if I moved my hands through it. I started to feel like I wasn’t real either like finding out I am just a part of a dream. This experience lasted for hours. I was definitely very scared and had no clue what to do. I messaged my therapist and she had me do some grounding techniques and told me this wasn’t dangerous, I was safe, and that it would pass. This did start to make me feel a little better but then I wasn’t even sure if that was real, so how could I know it would get better or I wouldn’t disappear like a dream just fades away. I messaged a support group I am a part of and did some research hoping that would calm me enough if I gathered some knowledge on the situation and it did help some. I finally started to come out of it and realize that I was real and everything and everyone around me were also real. I think knowing what this was and some grounding techniques I have learned from my therapist will hopefully help it not be so scary or long if it happens again. I am sharing this so if anyone else has their first expereince with this just know you are safe, you are real, those around you that love you can help you stay in your true reality, it is not dangerous, and it will pass. Hoping to have a more peaceful day today and hoping a peaceful, loved day for all of you as well.
Peace and Love
The Multifarious Mind.